Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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