Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
