And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
