I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
