The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
