I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize