The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
