is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
