how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
