so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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