Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
