Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
