dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
