How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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