omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm getting married
To pizza
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
