It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
