Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
