I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
