PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
