if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
