I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
