Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
