What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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