Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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