if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
