Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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