She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
