You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
there is glitter all over my balls
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