just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
