don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
