I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
