Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
