she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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