Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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