so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize