I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
