Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
