There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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