Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
