cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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