The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
