i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
