I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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