so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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