Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
