went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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