On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
