so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
