Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
