This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
