So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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