I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
