the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
