dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
