How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
