I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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