Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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