We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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