I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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