You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
