so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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