Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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