You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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