I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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