you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize